How Living Alone Keeps Me Sane

While my college friends become more and more closer together, creating girls groups, and began to live together in a house, I kept my privacy by allowing no one enters my room. Exactly no one. Except for my parents and my brother.

Living alone comic by Dallion (dallion.com)

Living alone comic by Dallion (dallion.com)

1.    Living alone keeps my body on a better and nicer shape

Without someone interrupting my bathing session or even my only-wear-undies hour while trying on a thousand clothes from my closet for an interview or a first date, I eventually became more aware on my body weight and body shape. One key I learnt to be more confident is by often seeing your own body and be grateful for them. The more you are grateful with what you have, the more you’ll tend to keep them stay in shape. By being naked in front of the mirror regularly, my subconcious mind will tell me to decrease my meal quantiy if I saw that there are weights gained in the belly, and it will tell me to eat more if my arms look a little bit lighter and need some protein boosts (or whatever).

2.    The only girly problems that need solving are mine

One thing you surely will experience when you have girls as roomates are gossips sessions, which is very tiring for me. Living alone makes me have to do nothing with other girls’ problems. I am tired enough listening to them outside my bedroom, I won’t bother take them to MY bedroom. There should be somewhere I can just cut the worlds out of the door and not giving a fuck to anything hammering it.

3.    I only gets disgusted on the pile of trash, not on someone who keeps telling me to throw it out

Taking the trash out maybe one simple task most of us don’t like to do. I don’t like it either. So, as the only one in the room, I don’t have to do the chores based on people objection on me. I will only do that if I am the one who told me to. Because you can’t complain on yourself for things you’ve done for yourself.

4.    I can listen and sing to whatever song I want

I am easily irritated on people who put a loud music it can even be heard from across the hallway (or even from outside the house). But it’s a different case if I am the one doing it (everybody had the same thought, right?). I mean, it’s not only about the volume, but my wide ranged taste of music (from instrumental to salsa, pop-punk to bossanova) will also annoys people. Me and my brother once took a ride with his female friends sitting in the backseat while the audio plays the music from my USB flashdisk. When the music turns to Marc Anthony’s Contra La Corriente album, the girls were like, “Bagus (my brother’s name), why do you have this kind of music on your audio?” Such Justin Bieber groupies.

5.    I can cry all night, throwing things, without anybody asking stupid questions like “are you okay?

Seriously. Why do we keep on saying lousy, boring questions like that? “Well, hello! You see me crying here. There’s obviously something emotional going inside of my mind/soul/body/feelings that made the tears came out of its place. So please, stop offering unimportant questions to this crying-me.”

6.    There won’t be any dirty stories coming out from the dirty laundry

An advice for any girl who shares room/ house with roomates: Your roomate’s dirty laundy should stay on its place. You won’t take it out to the laundrette because it’s not yours, right? So should their secrets.

Living alone instantly prohibits me on experiencing bad days in campus caused by my dirty laundry.

7.    It’s a real life lesson about patience

There’s no one to blame if something goes wrong with my room and it became a routine life skill practice. I am now better at managing angers and emotions. I’ll also think twice when I want to blame someone if there’s something wrong with my life.

7 Things All My Past Relationships Had Taught Me

1.    If he cheats with you, he’ll mostly will cheat on you.

Cheating habit is non-curable. Stop dreaming that you can change him and be the last one he’ll laid his eyes on. Trust me: you can’t, and you won’t be.

2.    Zero insecurities, zero problems, were caused by zero love.

So you’re happy that he doesn’t gets jealous when you’re out with your 2 gals and 5 guys to a reunion camp? He’s fine with your co-worker regularly driving you home when he’s not there to take you from the office? He never gets mad at you talking about another women’s men? Those are the signs he might never really loved you at the first place.

3.    Never go home with someone you won’t build a home with.

What’s the point on having a relationship when you won’t sail the ship together?

4.    Never ignore what your heart says.

Whether it’s about jealousy, his weird attitude, his new perfume he doesn’t tell you about, his inexcitement on taking a walk with you at the park, or anything that makes your heart feels something unusual about him, never ignore them. You never know if your astral body might already follows him throughout the past months.

5.    Never buys out a man that never buys you anything.

A man that has never bought you a memento to reminds you of him doesn’t need to be remembered at all. Period!

6.    If you don’t remember the last time you really had a laughter with him, don’t bother thinking about the future.

7.    There’s always a finer apple and a field with greener grass out there.

Never lower your standards and never settle for those who don’t qualify. You’ll eventually find someone way much-much-much better than those standing in front of you right now.

Kamu.

Perempuan yang paling susah dibuat puas. Ada aja komentarnya. Warna celana kurang gelap, hak sepatu kurang tinggi, tisunya terlalu kasar, manik-maniknya kurang berkilau, parfumnya terlalu wangi, kacamatanya agak miring sedikit, kaos kaki pendek sebelah. Kalau memang ngga suka ya bilang ngga suka. Kepura-puraan kamu untuk suka itu ngga bakal bikin semuanya lebih baik kalau kamu ngga bilang apa yang salah. Pada akhirnya, baru ketahuan kalau kamu punya daftar khusus yang format kalimatnya antara Objek + terlalu/ agak/ kurang + kata sifat. Ngga akan ada yang tahan sama sikapmu. Kamu pun kadang sampai kesal sendiri karena tidak tau siapa lagi yang harus disalahkan. Selalu berharap bertemu yang baru yang lebih baik meskipun tau yang baru juga pasti punya kekurangan. Kekurangan yang kamu awalnya lihat baik dan banyak dikasih ignorance tapi lama-lama jadi numpuk dan banyak dan nutupin semua lebih-lebihnya. Ignorance kamu lama-lama bikin kamu jadi ignorant. Banyak orang tidak masuk pramuka, mereka ngga terbiasa sama kode. Ngga semua orang tau dan mau masuk STSN, yang isi pelajarannya sandi-sandi semua. Kamu hebat. Tapi kalau hebat sendirian, buat apa?

Satu lagi, sebaik-baik rencana adalah yang terlaksana. GWS, I’ll see you soon.

Planning Break-Ups

broke

Breaking up is never easy, everyone says. But you know, it is hard because most of times you haven’t really prepared for it yet. This is my check list before going on a break up.

1. List the reasons why’d you liked him at the first place

This is a bit difficult if you do this with a break up on your mind so I usually do this at the beginning of my relationships. Things that makes me want to step out in public together with him. Whether it is his smile, his wealth, his magnificent voice, his charisma… anything.

2. List the reasons why do you want a break up.

Write down any reasons that came because of his annoying attitude/ actions and/or things you noticed has changed in you after you’re having a relationship with him (and you hate it). The examples might be: “he is too overprotective”, “he embarrasses me a lot in public”, “he owes me a lot of money”, “I can’t hang out with my girls anymore” or “I believe I’m all taken for granted”.

3. Compare all the lists.

I called it as measuring happiness. See if the points on the first list has gone contrary to your second list. Like if at the first list you wrote how you liked his smile and how polite he was but at the second list you mentioned him as abusive, it is one very big sign you should stomp on the gas pedal as hard as you can.

4. Re-think about your decision

Create some distance from your someone and ask yourself: are you sure about this? But do not take longer than 3 days or he might notice and feeling kinda anxious about it.

5. Select the finishing method

Many relationships start with texting but I’m not really comfortable that there are people breaking up via texts. Of course, you can choose this method. But myself prefer doing this face-to-face just because.

6. Think about things you’ll do after things end (or just create another list for this one)

This is you about to regain control of yourself. So make sure you know what you want to do after your heart and feelings are back in your hands again. Create some common newly-single to-do-list such as go shopping, trim the hair, take a solo trip, or even throw a pajamas party.

7. Set up the date

This is important. I prefer choosing a couple days before holiday season to break up with someone. My consideration is so that I will have a quiet holiday without him (let’s see him as somone whom I’m no longer comfortable to be around with) texting my phone every 3 hours. It also will give him time to be alone. Remember that it is harder for men to face break ups. Let him throw himself into alcohol if he’s into that without you need to be around feeling responsible for it (you know you did the right thing if he really does that).

8. Set up the place

My favorite place to break up is anywhere comfortable for me to be with myself. Choose between your own place or even your favorite café (but make sure only to choose the café when you’re sure you won’t cry afterwards, whatever happens). Avoid places where people might see you/ him yelling at each other (you never know how he will react on a break up). Avoid places where you can’t go home on your own too, because there’s always a chance he might storm off and leave you alone after the event.

9. Do it

Make it short. Just say that you want to end it up with him. It is not necesarry to tell why if he doesn’t ask. And if he asks, only tell him general things (such as ‘I don’t see future in us’) and say it without hurting him even more (don’t say ‘it’s because of you’, neither ‘it’s all my fault’). A nicely done break up won’t lasts more than 20 minutes (mind that you only need 5 seconds to say ‘I can’t be with you anymore’). And do not cry.

10. Be happy

Smile. Take a sit back and relax. Be proud of yourself. And write a blog on how you’ve done it.